Playing tourist

One of the perks of working in the tourism industry (almost) in Vancouver, is something called the Privilege Passport, offered through Tourism Vancouver, to businesses in the industry.
With it, holders of the passport are able to visit the other businesses in the industry who are part of the program, usually for super cheap or free. In most cases, you're allowed to bring a guest.
You need to visit enough places to receive 15 stamps in your book, and then you redeem the book for a pass to all the participating businesses (you get a certain number of stamps based on distance-we give 2 becuase we're out of the city).

My friend K and I hit up enough place to qualify me for the pass!

Kissing a mudskipper at the Vancouver Aquarium.

Us on the Stanley Park Horse-drawn Tours.

(I'm secretly terrified of horses cuz they're HUGE.)

Dr. Sun-yat Sen Classical Chinese Gardens.

Vancouver Harbour Centre lookout.

Maplewood Farm.

Capilano Suspension Bridge.

I plan on playing a tourist alllllll summer long!

I'm so boring lately

I feel like I'm a lot more boring when I'm not depressed. Then I'm not looking for the outlet.
I don't need to spew forth the pain and anxiety and scariness and crap that just vomits itself out when I'm feeling really down.

Oh, this is not a bad thing!
It just doesn't make for interesting blog posts, when I post about unicorns pooping daisies (to quote Angella, I believe). Instead, it's random posts about how cute I think AK is...

I am so beyond relieved to be done school. I honestly never thought I'd ever be done university.
I entered the business program at Cap as a mature student, then transfered to Arts there.
In the winter of 2005, I was going to school full-time (three classes, to still qualify for my Dad's benefits), while working 3 jobs--all in all, about 60-70 hours a week, between classes and work.
I was living alone, in the basement bachelor suite in the house of an amazing woman who I've always wished I'd kept in contact with. I didn't have a TV, I used dial-up internet, I was randomly sleeping with a coworker for shits and giggles, and I pretty much had no social life.

Is it really any surprise I ended up having a sleep-over in the psych ward of my local hospital?

That was when I, at the behest of my doctor, moved back in with the parents. It was very strongly suggested that I move back in with someone who could "take care of me". As my gramma was, at this point, in need of a live-in caregiver, I was not able to move back in with her (it was actually due to her needing more care than I could provide which caused me to move out of her house in the first place. I just wasn't home enough, between work and school, to help her as much as she needed, so I'd moved out the year before to make room), and I do not -in any way, shape, or form- get along with my mother when we spend any amount of time together, my dad was the default "care-taker". He's always been my protector, and the person I run to when anything happened-I'm very much a Daddy's girl. But it'd been a few years since I lived with "parents". My gramma was more like a really awesome roommate who just happened to go to bed at 9.
Anyways, after the night in the hospital on suicide watch, I was put on stress leave by my doctor. I applied, and was accepted, to finish my BA in History at TRU, but decided to inquire about the Tourism program there instead. I asked about entering in January, since I thought I wouldn't make it in for September, which I did afterall. I did the first year of a diploma, and learned that I had enough credits from Cap to basically skip the second year of the degree program, if I decided to do that-which I did. By doing 28 months STRAIGHT of school, I was able to finish my degree in only 8 months longer than it would have to finish the diploma.

Holy crap, that felt like a lot to explain about why I'm not depressed right now!
And I'm still not done...

Sam and I started dating around about the end of June, 2005. We'd started hanging out earlier in the spring (after having known him for awhile as my customer at Starbucks), but I didn't tell him I'd moved until 3 weeks afterwards. We met up for beer one night when I was back in Vancouver visiting, and a couple weeks later, he came to Kamloops and we went camping, basically as our first date--three days of no showering, a lot of fishing, and a lot of laughing and kissing. We never really talked about the future of "us", we just started refering to each other as our girlfriend/boyfriend, and it just seemed to work.
Am I ever glad that he's my Sammy!

I love that I'm able to bug him, in person, every day now.
I know it sounds terrible, but it's not, really. Mwah!

Other than being exhausted lately, I have nothing to complain about!
(I'm being tested for sleep apnea, and to make sure my thyroid is working properly, as well as to make sure my bladder works properly, because I sleep like crap, I'm constantly exhausted, and I pee like a racehorse for no apparent reason).

Computer cat

AK likes to sleep on me while I'm on the computer.

I tend to slouch down, giving him room to cuddle up on my chest.

What you aren't able to see, though, are his muddy paws that he wiped all over my arms, chest, and tank top.

An action shot, of him getting comfortable.

Baddy

Someone is a baddy.
I'll give you one guess.

Oh yes, it's my dear little AKbaby.
I had to go rescue him from the neighbour's scary dog earlier this evening (he'd gotten on their roof somehow, and the only way down was where the dog was hanging out, waiting).

Then Sam, who's been working on his car, came in to the house to get me to come see something...

AK is asleep in the car.
The car that he was locked into for a week.
He so hasn't learned his lesson...
(Yep, the car's right-hand drive.)

One-Line Graduation Advice

On PostSecret this week, Frank has left the comments open for people to post one-liners of advice to new graduates. I'm reading through the 800+ comments, and trying to relate some of them to my own life and my own goals and dreams, now that I'm finally finished (my first degree).

understanding said... it will be okay, and better than you imagine, even when the world seems to cave in

Bunny said... You can do anything. But not everything.

Christine said... The world is speaking to you every day. You just don't always know how to listen.

Anonymous said... Sometimes it's more than okay to be terrified.

Jaq said... Understand the difference between being an adult and growing up...

Anonymous said... Everything in life is only for now. Life may be scary, but it's only temporary. This too shall pass.

Addie said... It's ok to be scared and it's even ok to fail; you don't have to be perfect.

lookingglass said... Your GPA doesn't matter.

Omega Spade said... The path to happiness is not linear and may not always be apparent, just because the first thing your tried didn't make you as happy as you thought it would is no reason not to try something else that will make you happy.

jb said... Chase dreams, not paychecks.

Anonymous said... The true test of your character will be in how you treat those you DO NOT have to be nice to.

Anonymous said... It's never as bad as you think it is...sometimes it's just your mind playing tricks on you...

alexia-red said... Feel the pain. Let it engulf you. Then let it go.

Anonymous said... Don't take life too seriously. Nobody makes it out alive.

I say...Hurray! I never thought that I'd ever actually be done. I made it, and I made it alive, which didn't seem possible at several different stages.
I wish a certain few people were here to see it, Rob, Gramma and Grampa, SKM. I'm thankful for the time I did have with them, though.
19 days til convocation!

A day late a buck short

Dear Mama,
After 24.5 years of knowing you, I think we've finally figured out a "schedule" that means that we can put up with each other. We only speak every two weeks or so, even though you live less than an hour away from me and Sam. We speak for between 5 and 10 minutes, updating each other on important-ish happenings: your partner has taken a 30% pay cut due to the recession; AK has been back to the vet again; the 5th of June is my graduation in Kamloops; my cousins are coming from Germany at the beginning of August. What doesn't get talked about is anything to do with my father; how my depression is faring (other than letting you know I'm back on/off meds); any mention of my grandmother's estate; any mention of my great-uncle's estate; and anything to do with your drinking, among several other hot topics.
I know that Mother's Day is supposed to be honouring the most important woman in your life, the woman who gave you life, but in my case I'm still so very, very full of anger and hurt over how the last 15 or so years have shaped up between us. It's very difficult for me to look past some of things you have said and done, about and to me. This is one of those occassions in which I feel the negatives do outweigh the positives.
I wish that we could have the sort of relationship that I hear others speak about. The one where a girl's mother is her closest friend and confidante, her greatest supporter and fan, and in turn, the daughter would do anything for her mother. I know that you and Gramma very much had this sort of relationship, later on in your lives. I hope that one day you and I can have that also. For now, though, I'm too deeply hurting. I'm not sure that I'll ever be ready to take the next step towards mending our relationship, and you have already indicated that you just won't.
However, you're still my mom, and much as our relationship is love-hate, I just want you to know that I do love you; I am just hurt and disappointed that this is what our relationship has actually turned out to be.
I'm sorry for that.

Meggie

Obsession

I'm seriously obsessed with AK.
Turns out his fracture wasn't actually a fracture, it was his friggin' growth plates, which haven't knit together yet (an oddity-his xrays from his front legs indicate he is only 3-4 months old, while his back legs say about 2 years, and another area says only 1 year. We do think he's roughly 2 years old, though).
Anyways, the first xray that was done indicated a fracture that did not actually exist. There was something hurting him, but the vet doesn't actually have any idea what caused it.
So we basically paid six hundred bucks for the vet to misdiagnose our cat, and he slept over at the vet's, freaked out, for two nights, for no reason.
I am a little frustrated about the whole situation, just because I was actually envisioning having my Visa card totally paid of by the end of this month.
But, my kitty's health is worth it to me.

His tail looks stumpy, I think he's just flicking it.

Hunting Sam.
Check out his lovely, huuuuuge, bald patch.

An action-shot!

Jungle-kitty.

Getting ready again-you can't see his bum wiggling in preparation for his pouncing.

My shaved pussy (I know, I know, it's terrible).
He's so pathetic, his right leg looks like he's gotten a poodle haircut.
Good thing he's so damn cute!