I find myself stuck in a rut. I wake up (staying in bed as late as I possibly can), rush around to make my oatmeal and coffee and feed the cats and the dog, and get out the door for 8, to get to work for 8:15. I spend most of the day with an upset stomach, which is caused by my intense unhappiness and anxiety at being somewhere I don't really enjoy right now. I'm also getting bored-my brain is bored.
I'm thinking about going back to school, either to get a Master's in...something, or to get an accounting designation (I'm leaning towards a CMA right now, but who knows), or to just take some anthropology classes for shits and giggles.
I have also decided I need to sell my car. My beautiful, red-like-sexy-high-heels, doggy-friendly, pretty good on gas, super expensive, car. I can't afford the payments if I want to go back to school, since I will most likely be working less, or not at all.
Luckily, my dad and stepmom have decided to take it over for me, since stepmommy needs a new car anyways, and this saves them the trouble of car-shopping.
But...I have to find something else to drive.
And finally admit that buying that car might not have been the best idea in the world.
I hate admitting I was wrong...
But, the rut thing means I don't write. I don't feel like I have anything to say, so I don't bother. Then I complain that this blog isn't taking the direction I want it to, and I get cheesed that I can't write what I'm actually thinking and feeling, because I feel like it's not even worth my time.
Sooooo, obviously, I need to force myself to write more often.
Just like I've been forcing myself to eat home-made fruit salad everyday.
Just like I've been convincing myself to go to the gym every other day lately.
Just like I have been making myself take Poppy for a walk, even when I don't feel like it.
Hopefully, I can actually stick to this plan!
I'm thinking about going back to school, either to get a Master's in...something, or to get an accounting designation (I'm leaning towards a CMA right now, but who knows), or to just take some anthropology classes for shits and giggles.
I have also decided I need to sell my car. My beautiful, red-like-sexy-high-heels, doggy-friendly, pretty good on gas, super expensive, car. I can't afford the payments if I want to go back to school, since I will most likely be working less, or not at all.
Luckily, my dad and stepmom have decided to take it over for me, since stepmommy needs a new car anyways, and this saves them the trouble of car-shopping.
But...I have to find something else to drive.
And finally admit that buying that car might not have been the best idea in the world.
I hate admitting I was wrong...
But, the rut thing means I don't write. I don't feel like I have anything to say, so I don't bother. Then I complain that this blog isn't taking the direction I want it to, and I get cheesed that I can't write what I'm actually thinking and feeling, because I feel like it's not even worth my time.
Sooooo, obviously, I need to force myself to write more often.
Just like I've been forcing myself to eat home-made fruit salad everyday.
Just like I've been convincing myself to go to the gym every other day lately.
Just like I have been making myself take Poppy for a walk, even when I don't feel like it.
Hopefully, I can actually stick to this plan!
1 Rambles:
I hate the part where I have to force myself all the time. I hate it.
Depression is fun.
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